*10% discount on any concept that features a monkey does not apply to animated monkeys, sock-puppet monkeys, monkey literary allusions, monkeys carrying SARS, RABIES or any yet to be discovered virus. No sea-monkeys. No monkey mascots (well, maybe). Or Planet of the Apes posters on the wall. They must be friendly, non-biting and look good in a Sherlock Holmes hat. No simple dialogue references, like “did your mom sleep with a monkey?” No cheeky monkeys, and no, you cannot "pet my monkey" Absolutely no ex-astronaut monkeys with a big ego. Gorillas are monkeys but we’re scared of them so none of them either. And it definitely can’t be that Spider Monkey that attacked Ayse in Cancun. All discounts are subject to a hefty handling fee, a craft-service surcharge, applicable vaccinations for cast and crew, and other indiscriminant fees that will probably negate the original discount. Odds of complying with all these zoological issues, 1: a lot. Discount is variable based on Beef & Pie’s coffee intake that day. Kindness is rewarded with a better rate. All client services are suspended if the monkey throws feces on set. All results of this offer have been neither closely monitored or judged in private, in fact, all of the decisions were rendered around a table of beer drinking, pie-eating employees who have their own ugly monkeys on their back to deal with.